A Stone Pillar

Today I praise God because He is at work in me.

I will confess this. I have been struck by my conceit and sin. I still find myself time and again trying to prove that I don't need the Cross, that I don't need the work Jesus has done for me. How dare I? How dare I try to save myself? I know, I know that I am desperate for the Lord, for His mercy and salvation. Yet time and again I try to do it on my own.

Yesterday and today, God has bringing sin after sin to mind. I have a lot of time to think as I walk back and forth from the Paulus House each day. At first, it was crushing me. I was wondering if it was Satan discouraging me, so I prayed about it. And while it could have been Satan discouraging me, God is using it for HIS good. I'm kind of overwhelmed with my sin right now. And its pretty constant, how they come to mind. I'm being convicted (which if you have read my other blog, you know I love even as it hurts), and it is hard. It isn't fun. Shouldn't saying yes to the Lord mean light and joy? Absolutely not! And I have to remind myself of that. God doesn't promise us what we want - He promises His plan. And He promises to make us new.

That is what my heart is longing for, that is where I am finding my peace and rest. Despite my depravity, despite how completely far from the Lord I truly am, He is making me new and making me more like Him. "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. ...I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for My own sake, and remembers your sins no more...O Israel, I will not forget you. I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to Me, for I have redeemed you" (Isaiah 43:18-19, 25; Isaiah 44:21b-22).
 "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put My Spirit in you and movve you to follow My decrees and be careful to keep My laws...I will save you from your uncleanned. ...I want you to know that I am not doing this for your sake, declares the Sovereign Lord" (Ezekial 36:26-32).
And of course, 2 Corinthians 5:17, "If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

These verses on some Band-Aid, to cause me to forget my sin and feel better about myself. No, God isn't making me new for my sake. Far from it! He is making me new because it brings Him glory!  And I know confidently that I want nothing else than to bring Him glory. I know that in my very core.

I like to share what God is teaching me because it is like the stone pillars that Joshua instructs the Israelite leades to put up after they cross the river Jordan. He tells them to put up these twelve stone pillarss so that when they children and grandchildren ask about them, the Israelites can proclaim what the Lord has done (Joshua 4). It is a way to remember. So this is one of my stone pillars.